I’ve been doing better lately but I got to take the time to be real with you. I didn’t understand that life with you is meant to be free. That my relationship with you wasn’t a long-term loan but a lifetime lean. I wasn’t cool with dieting out the unhealthy things that didn’t please you because it pleased me. And see, I felt like I was borrowing from you, knowing that just like Kendrick…
I am a sinner, who’s probably going to sin again
(Lord Forgive me) 
Forgive me that I sin and take your love as not an invaluable gift.
Instead of simply receiving your undeserving love that never comes with repayments, I don’t have to visit Santander to know you’ve always been there, your presence should be heaven to me because the essence of your love is kind and simple, even more simpler than a face care routine.
I thank you Father because I’m born again, rebirthed, reborn into a grace that surpasses my own awareness, you cared first so that I could show that being reborn isn’t an opportunity to fall from grace but the opportunity to seek your face. And just like a simple face care routine, you washed away the sins of my past because you need me to be only made of water and spirit. With the reward of a life that will last beyond my physical being, and being honest it’s hard understand why.
And so you told me that I need to renew my journey in life with you. Renewal is a complicated thing. Well, actually it’s not. We talk about Climate Change and sustainability, yet complain that there’s no change because we haven’t checked the spiritual climate in our lives while we sustain ourselves with everything attractive and nothing actually sustainable. Copping 23 numbers from suitors who find me attractive and want me but the one I need isn’t the first person I call.
Unattainable desires and thirsts that even Fiji water cannot quench, not because Philippians 4:13 is a lie, or that his word isn’t meant to be in us, but because our desires aren’t in his words for us. I’m sure that’s the only way to be in his script. A renewal of my mind means now I give you praise because I love you, not because I’m chasing a debt with the world that I still live in regret over.
Father you showed me a dozen times in Romans that in order for my mind to be renewed, I had to Transform. Calling all Autobots to roll out because everything that I now live for is automatically yours, carrying that all-spark 
to sow the seed that your son Lives. Souls like Optimus I understand that you have no prime because you don’t work with time. I just needed the time to understand that you’re already working in us. Transforming greater than Breezy and the world who’ll make me rely on air, no signal no wi-fi then I took the two seconds of my busy life to just say hi.
You’re the same person who gave me the spark to grow my ideas, just like you’re the same God that gave me air. Having Asthma doesn’t stop me from saying that you are a Wonderful God. The air I breathe is because of the breath you poured out to create life.
So Father carry me, carry me as I now go into this journey. Clock into my work so that I even if I stop watching you, I will recognise that you have always been tracking me, backing me. The stripes on my back are now healed and the devil cannot steal what you said was mine. And is mine. And I’m HIM because I know who my HIM is and it’s you, and the best part about HER is that she knows her part in spreading your word, as small as a mustard seed will soon be as rich as butter.
Smooth sails as I wrote this hoping I wouldn’t stutter. But I pray that the clutter of the flesh will not stutter my walk with you, because I read in Psalm that your right palm will hold me. I was wilding about finding the ultimate equaliser to fighting my problems but father, you are my ultimate sustainability.
I pray you’ll grace us all. Now that’s your true ability.