“For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.” – Ephesians Two Eight to Nine
I wish I could say I created this term but I didn’t. Nor could I reference the originator 
, because I can’t be asked to do so.
and no this isn't the white saviour kind of stuff that's like 10 podcasts, 6 blogs and 55 documentaries worth of content
saviour
- A saviour is a person who saves someone or something from danger, ruin, or defeat.
It’s something that’s been in my mind for probably a lifetime but the trigger to writing it down in a blog post came from watching All American Season 3, with the star man Spencer James, who battles several relationships and commitments with family, friends and love interests. 🏈
The dude ain’t perfect, has definitely made mistakes of his own. But in a recent episode it reiterated some of relatability I had with the character. Spencer feels the constant need to carry his team on his back, stepping in to save his hometown, all while always putting himself out there for his best-friend, and doing whatever he needs to do to keep his crush safe, even if that blindly meant risking his own promises in the process.
It got to a point where even though a girl ‘loved’ him, she without hesitation convinced him put his life in danger to save her own from the shame of addiction. He did it because like in every situation he’s in, he needs to save the people he loves. I didn’t deep it at first, just like Spencer. Until his mother in a later scene explained how crazy it sounded.
I’m not the most athletic guy in the world and lockdown has definitely changed my build, but when I care, I care hard then I ever will in a gym. If I believed I had the half the influence and skill to change anything for the better all I’d need is the opportunity, and I’d struggle to even think about it.
prime FT is coming back though yeahhhhhhhh
The complex of feeling the need to be the hero leads unintentionally leads into a ‘saviour’ complex. You don’t want to save someone because it feeds your ego, you’re not a fraud in that sense.
A lot of Christians deal with this, one of the biggest things we’re called to do is bring people towards Christ, as well as care for others in need. Directly caring for someone however doesn’t always need to be direct.
But because you know that you’re capable of doing so with bible quotes like Philly 4:13 to back your drive. It’s an unhealthy desire to feel you can solve every problem, and that every query or concern must have a solution.
Every query does have a solution, but what I always struggle with is knowing that I’m not that always the solution. Jesus is.
And yes, we aim to be like Jesus, supporting others in every way we can. But he’s the only true saviour. Who did far more that I or any of could do and deal with, with the strength to handle it all even in death. Without him empowering us to do good, we’re only just picking up someone else’s baggage.
God brought us a saviour. There’s only one and it’s not me.
By only visiting one American state in Orlando, I distantly supported the Magic, but in the last few years I’ve been a very close fan of the Los Angeles Clippers, who like probably a lot of teams in the NBA, suffer a bit from ‘Hero ball’ in the clutch.
clutch
- refers to a crucial time during a situation that will determine the result. i.e. Stoppage time in Football, or the last quarter of an NBA game
- to be clutch is to excel in a crucial or deciding situation
The two star players – Kawhi Leonard & Paul George take the final quarter of the game by their own hands. They take almost all the shots, whether a teammate is open or not, with the natural expectation that the best player on the court should call game. It works. Most of the time.
They don’t just do it because everyone tells them they’re the best, they believe in themselves that they can handle the pressure, and if they can’t, it’s only a learning curve. A lot of it is down to not trusting, because of your experiences with them prior but what people don’t notice that it’s actually more of their trust in themselves, because if you trust yourself more than anything else then why wouldn’t you feel you’re the best person to handle it.
My parents from what I’ve witnessed even before they moved to more pastoral duties, are caring. Hundreds of times would I see them go out of their way, change what they needed to do and step in at the earliest opportunity. It’s only in the last few years that I’ve seen how much it takes out of them personally.
A few moments in my short lifespan people I hold dear to me have opened up about experiences that hurt them, or experiences that they regretted. My initial reaction was to always to deal with the oppressor rather than comfort the victim.
I ain’t been a physical fight for years, nor do I look like a guy who would fight despite my build. But with the right overdose of anger, frustration, aggression…
anddd a lack of the Holy Spirit in you
you’d probably be surprised, I’d want to surprise myself. I’d forget about the consequences along with the fear and be ready to ride out. Stay Schemin.
But unsurprisingly it didn’t yield a fruitful response. It wasn’t my fight any ways, but part of the saviour complex is that you feel it is. And in some situations you do need to fight because you’re in the middle of it, but you also can’t fight for 2, 3 or 4. Cus when you need them they’ll be the ones closing the door.
Comforting them is instead what I’ll do, and try to support them. If you need now vs ‘I’m there’ before. Yet even then you’ll find that it doesn’t pay off entirely either. Then this will always appear in my head:
‘Don’t save her, she don’t wanna be saved’
(Cole, 2014)
Bruh is it just me or does this gif look like a FIFA negotiation cutscene fail 😂😂
This is something I’ll always laugh and deep at the same time with my boy. And you’d think it’s easy to brush it off after acknowledging that, but you always ask yourself, why don’t they want to be saved?
They could be scared, lack emotional strength, or just not know how to. Either way my name to you is Dezon Matta.
You can’t save someone from themselves, nor can you make them realise that they’re destroying their life blindly, nor can you intervene in people’s situations simply because they’re a victim and they need help. I learnt to understand that whatever they’re in, it will get to a point where they need to face it alone.
The Saviour complex leads to a need to control everything, unintentionally being selfish believing you’re being selfless.
For someone to change, they have to want it themselves. You can’t force it. People don’t like being made to feel as if we don’t like them as they are.
Not everyday jump, sometimes pray sha.
It’s like if someone was stuck in a sand-trap, in a snapshot – they’re dying if you don’t do something. But if you jump in to try and bring them out, you’ll sink and be swallowed with them. You’ll suffer and their situation won’t get any better either. No-one wins. You can also leave them alone and they’ll somehow be fine, or they could fall even further. They are other people who can help too.
So for anyone else like me, best thing to do is understand the space, pray and keep it moving.
Jesus saves. You don’t.
